He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

This is an email that Amby and I sent out to our family, community group and Bible study friends...
Although it's several weeks old, it's still fresh in our hearts and minds.  We are thankful for the progress that has been made since we received this email, and we are grateful for new opportunities (more on that later!)

Amby and I received word today (March 3rd) that our Home Study report was sent to India and the Indian representative for our agency (Rajeev) reviewed it... He said that, because of the increased number of Indian citizens adopting Indian orphans (what a great thing), the restrictions for folks outside of India are increasing.  In other words, it was Rajeev's opinion that Amby and I would, ultimately, not be permitted to adopt a child from India.  He said that his thought is that we would be allowed a referral and we would most likely match with a child (they were very encouraging about our Home Study report).  However, he thinks that we would get well down the road and then we would be denied by the Indian government because we already have 3 children.  Although this is not a current limitation, Rajeev feels that the trend (as far as he can tell) is that adoptions will not be approved for families who already have 3 children (at this point, 3 is the max # of children allowed).  He feels that the governing body for adoption in India (CARA) will not approve our adoption, as he has not yet seen an approved adoption for a family in our situation.  And, truly, we have started to receive information about more and more restrictions and changes for Indian adoption.  Although none of these limitations are currently official, it's definitely the direction that CARA is heading. The director of our agency wanted us to know asap, so that we can begin processing the information...his recommendation is that we begin to think about other countries and other opportunities.  He said that he would hate for us to get 12-18 months down the road, only to be denied. Clearly, we are disappointed.  Thankfully, Amby was home when we received the email from our agency's director.   There is a lot to discuss and pray about and think through-   Will y'all please pray for us?  We are confident that there is a child, somewhere out there, who is going to be a part of our family.  We simply want to be faithful.  Please pray that we would be faithful.  We are still very hopeful. Really, this is the first real "hiccup" that we have experienced thus far.  It's a little bit of a roller coaster of emotions-  and we desperately want to be in the "here and now."  We have a long way to go on this journey. Thanks, friends- Grateful for y'all... jenny ps- I know- it's hard to think about all of those orphans in India... And Amby and I are definitely thankful that Indian citizens who live in India are beginning to embrace adoption-  but I want to acknowledge that it's still so hard to know that there are thousands of Indian children who will go to bed tonight without mommies and daddies to tuck them in, sing to them, read to them, and pray for them. But, I know that God loves those boys and girls as much as he loves my girls and your kids. I know that I have already shared this with many of y'all, but I think I need the reminder-  One of the main things God reminded me of when I was in Africa is this: He's got the whole world in His hands.

The Sheer Madness of it All

How's that for a dramatic title?
I must say, I'm feeling a little dramatic, regarding the adoption.
The wheels have ground to a stop.  Does that even make sense?
After receiving the wonderful news that we have been approved to be Potential Adoptive Parents (that's PAP, for all of you who are keeping record of adoption acronyms)!  HURRAY!
After we received our Home Study document to review, we assumed that we would awake to find someone on our doorstep with a child ready for us to adopt (kind of like Ed McMahon with his giant check).  Ok-  so that's a little unrealistic and entirely untrue, but...we did expect a little more than we got.
Which was complete and utter silence.
We got nothin'.
For a week.  And then we emailed our agency-  we were like, "Ummm....so we got our Home Study back and it was awesome.  What's next?"
Our agency emailed us back that our social worker would send the documents-  after that we would be OFFICIALLY approved and we could start receiving referrals.
So, we are back to waiting.  Arg.
Have I mentioned that I am NO GOOD at waiting?  I have to admit that I kind of have a plan for how all of this might work out:  we match with our child this spring.  we submit our court documents before the courts in India go on holiday (this summer).  we travel to India to pick up our child early fall.  we have an entire school year with Kylie and our newest sibling to get to hang out before Kylie goes to school.  See?  Doesn't it all make perfect sense?
Brilliant plan.
What's that?  It's not about me managing the situation or controlling the outcome or figuring it all out?
What?
I mean, really.  What's it going to take for me to learn that it's not about me figuring it all out.  How many times do I have to see that God REALLY DOES have my best interest at heart?  Have I EVER been disappointed in His plan?  His provision?  Have I EVER regretted trusting Him?
Honestly?
Nope.  Not ever.  Not once.  I have not always been able to understand His plan (in the moment).  But as I look back on my life-  I am truly humbled.  And more than a little chagrined.  After all-  who am I to question Him?  He set the world in motion...He came to earth to save us.  He cares about every detail of my life.  He loves the sweet child that we are waiting for-  He loves her (or him!) more than I can possibly imagine.
And so, whether it is tomorrow or a year from tomorrow (oh goodness, I pray that it is not 2 years from tomorrow!), it is going to be the perfect time.
So, we are waiting...

On another completely unrelated note-
Missy brought her camera (and Rob's awesome fancy lens) to the playground this afternoon after school.
Here's an amazing shot she took of Gracie...

And another one-

Great, right?
Y'all have a good night...

I lied.

Ok-  so, I lied.  I said that I thought you'd be bored by a detailed post about our last month and that I'd tell you about it in bullet form.
That was my intention...but I decided to share a little more.
Where shall I start?
How about our home visit!

As I'm sure many of you know, a Home Visit is just that:  a social worker visits your home, checks it out, asks you numerous questions, interviews the folks in your family, and then decides if you are suitable to be adoptive parents.
Ummm-- no pressure.
Here's how it all went down:
we received a call on Thursday night (a few weeks ago).  Yes, that's right-  the Thursday night before the Friday that we were going to Houston to watch Amby and Jeremy (my older brother) run in the Houston Marathon.  Amby and Jeremy have been training for months to run the marathon, and we were pumped to join Linda and our cousins to cheer them on.
But I digress.
Ok-  so, we got a phonecall from our social worker to set up our Home Study.  He said that he'd like to visit us to talk about the adoption.  (thankfully, Amby answered the phone or I guarantee that I would have gone in to semi-charming (annoying) babbling idiot mode)  Eric (the social worker) said that he was available any evening we'd prefer-  the sooner the better.  We were so thrilled for this new step in the process, that we immediately agreed to the following Monday...nevermind that we'd be in Houston all weekend.  Nevermind that I'd be leaving for Africa the following Friday.  Full steam ahead!  Bring it on!
So, the madness ensued.  We cleaned our closets!  We cleaned the garage!  We cleaned the refrigerator!  By golly, we were going to be so clean-  how could he refuse?
Fast forward 24 hours.
My sweet, sweet nephew got the flu.  We decided that the girls and I shouldn't go to Houston-  Amby would fly down, run the marathon, then fly back.  Poor guy-  very anti-climactic (he did great, by the way-  finished faster than anticipated...especially given the less-than-ideal weather conditions!  Jeremy, too).
Our weekend didn't turn out as planned, but I was able to clean out the freezer, with the extra time I had.

Ok-  I know...it sounds like I was slightly OCD.  BUT, we were told that the social worker could (and would) check anywhere and everywhere to be certain that our house was a viable option for a child to live safely.  There's a fine line between due diligence and control issues.  I may have crossed that line a few times over the weekend.  It's probably in Amby's best interest that he was in Houston.

Finally, Monday arrived.  We had a plan:  our social worker would arrive.  He'd talk to the girls, then Missy and Kyle would swoop in and take them (the girls) away & Amby and I would charm our social worker and he would see that we were the ideal family for a child...bad-a-bing-bad-a-boom.
done.
And that's pretty much what happened.
Yes, I was a babbling idiot.  Yes, I'm sure I over-shared during my interview (he talked to us together as well as separately).  Yes, Amby is much more relaxed and natural.  No, the social worker didn't eat the dip I made as a last ditch effort to convince him that we were normal.  Who was I kidding?
And the girls had a great time at the Richardson's-  they ate chicken and noodles and played board games.  Heaven.
And now we are waiting.  Supposedly, we will hear if we are approved for adoption in the next couple of days.  As hard as it is to wait, we have peace.  It's a crazy "peace that passes understanding."  It's almost like it's out of our control.  Oh.  That's right-  it is.  Out of our control, I mean.
Thankfully, He's got the whole world in His hands.
And that includes our house-
and our hearts.
We are grateful.
And waiting...

So much to say-

How is it possible that almost an entire month has gone by since I last posted?
Oh, so much has happened in this past month!

You would probably fall asleep from boredom, if I recounted it all in paragraph form, so I'm going to do bullets! (don't you just love bullets?)

• we turned in our home study
• we had our home visit
• I went to Burundi, Africa to help lead a Women's Conference with our church through ALARM
• Kylie turned 4!

Such a great month...

AHEM

So, I was very excited about this post.  I had a little somethin' somethin' already working in my head about this post.

(do you do that?  Write blog posts in your head?  Or journal entries?  Or emails?  Or have entire conversations in your head-  both sides?  Is that just me?)

I was going to explain how we had not one but TWO pieces of news to share.  But my plans were thwarted.  Thwarted by voice mail!  And phone lines (darn you, Alexander Graham Bell!) (ok, AGB is not really to blame, but I need to be able to place blame somewhere, and he's as likely a candidate as anyone).

Thus, I only have once piece of news to share-  but it's great news!
Here it is:  WE SENT IN OUR HOME STUDY!
I know, I know-  it's really not THAT exciting.  I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it's only one small step in the long journey to our sweet child waiting for us in India.  However, it felt big to us.  I was grinning ear to ear when we stuffed our Home Study file in to the overnight envelope and mailed it to our agency.  I was babbling a little bit.  And I may have overly-chatted-up the postal worker (is anyone really surprised by that admission?).  But I was so excited to turn that sucker in!
We mailed in at least 20 documents including a 22 page autobiography (for each of us!), police clearance reports that required us to go to the county jail, a detailed floor plan of our home, and drawings and statements from all 3 girls.  (and much, much more!!)  We are actually really grateful that we got to go through all of the paperwork.  It made everything seem very real.  And Amby and I did it all together...which was great and so encouraging.

To be honest, it was a little overwhelming at times.  I called Missy on more than one occasion to share my fears and thoughts-  what if our social worker doesn't understand why we choose to parent the way we do?  What if he doesn't see our heart in our answers?  What if he doesn't approve us?

Yet another opportunity to trust the Lord.  He's giving me lots of those lately.  Maybe they're there all the time, & I've just gotten really self-sufficient.  I'm not entirely sure.  All I know for sure is that we are trusting Him day by day.  Truly, each day has enough worries of it's own-  and we are choosing to rest in Him.

So, that's one thing.  And the other thing that I was hoping to report was Amby's OCI status.  I called the Indian consulate in Houston today to check on when we were going to receive Amby's OCI card (which gives us more options for adoption in India).  Alas, after waiting on hold for 20 minutes (it was actually pretty awesome-  every 30 seconds an automated voice came on the line to update you on your status "there are 8 people ahead of you-  if you would like to continue waiting, please stay on the line"), I could only leave a voicemail.  Major let-down.  Major.  Oh well.  No news is good news, right?

SIGH!

That's me...breathing a huge sigh of relief.
I'll do it again.
SIGH.

Tonight, after we put the girls down, Amby and I went through our home study/adoption agency checklist together.  As I mentioned in my last post, there is an enormous amount of paperwork that we have been given (emailed, snail-mailed, faxed, etc).  I have been trying to go through it as it arrives, but with the holidays (not to mention the girls, family, and life in general!), it has started to pile up a little.
It's always at the back of my mind.
Missy and Sarah have promised to meet with me over coffee and help make a spreadsheet (moment of reverential silence for the spreadsheet).  Sarah is my favorite super-organized friend-  I stand in awe of Sarah and her ability to cut to the chase.  Missy's no slouch when it come to cutting to the chase, and they are both great at talking me down off a ledge.
Anyway, as I was saying, I have a plan to manage all of the paperwork chaos.  We (meaning Sarah) are going to make a spreadsheet of all of the stuff that we have to turn in for the adoption.  We have documents that need to be turned in for the home study.  We have documents that need to be turned in for the dossier.  We have documents that need to be turned in for BOTH the home study AND the dossier.  The spreadsheet will magically help me keep track of it all.
Am I asking too much of a spreadsheet?  Perhaps.  But, when the spreadsheet fails me, I shall lay the blame at the feet of Sarah and Missy.  Hence, the focused coffee-meeting.
It's ok-  they can handle it.
So, back to my sigh of relief.
Amby and I went through our binder (oh, I was so young and naive 1 month ago when I thought that a mere binder would hold all of our information) and sorted through the paperwork we have received.  I put things in file folders.  I labeled.  I paperclipped.  I basked in the glow of organization.
Best of all, Amby went over the checklist for our homestudy and agency application.  When he finished looking over it, he said, "That's not so bad."  It was like music to my ears.
He said, "We have most of these things.  It's going to be a pain to get the medical stuff done, but other than that I think we're in good shape."
See-  that's what I love about my husband.  He is so great at looking at a problem and breaking it down to a manageable, workable solution.  In fact, as I type this, he's in the office getting documents out of our safe and making copies.  What a guy.
I love it when a plan comes together.

We did it!

We chose an agency.  We are very thankful to have taken this next step...the agency has been extremely helpful.  We have received an ENORMOUS amount of information to sift through.  And read through and work through.  
We filled out and mailed in our application while simultaneously working on getting Amby an OCI card.  It's a lot of paperwork.
We had to buy a new ink cartridge for our printer.  And I may need glasses from reading all of the fine print.
You may not know this about us, but neither Amby nor I are "paperwork people."  I am pretty sure that when we filled out our spiritual gifts assessment for church (granted, it was about 10 years ago!) that we could not have possibly scored lower on the administration part.  While we are definitely organized in some (most)(ok, some) areas of our life, I would say it is out of necessity & responsibility, and not out of a love for filing, collating, and labeling.  
When we took the adoption class, David (our teacher) said, "Couples, there will be one of you who will be more drawn to the paperwork side of this.  You'll probably take the lead on filling out all of the forms and gathering information."  Amby and I glanced at each other.  Nudged one another...and giggled nervously.  uh-oh.
Fast forward about 3 months and here we are.


We received an email yesterday with 29 attachments.  TWENTY-NINE ATTACHMENTS.  I'm pretty sure I broke out in hives.
Here's the good news:  once I read through the email and attachments, it was a little less intimidating.  It all made sense (& our caseworker has been remarkable at answering our questions- "What's apostilled?").  And we got a great checklist to help work our way through the dossier paperwork.
Here's the great news:  there's a child at the end of all of this.  Our child.  Our child who is waiting.  And we are waiting, too.


So, when I get overwhelmed-  and I know that it's still so early in the game-  I pray.  I thank God for the paperwork and for the opportunity to get to dive in and trust Him.