hoping in Hope

hey y'all-

Early this week, we received word from our agency that the Russian family that showed an interest in Luda decided to pursue adoption.  Thus, we will not be able to adopt Luda.

We are disappointed and sad-  we have been praying for her and hoping for her since June.

We were able to talk to the girls, and they were so sweet-  they all wanted to pray for Luda.

While we are sad that we will not be adopting Luda, we are still hopeful about who the Lord has for us to adopt.  We are confident that He has a plan for all of this and will use it for His Glory and to further His kingdom...even as He draws us close to Him.

Honestly, we are still processing and trying to figure out what our next step is, but we truly have a peace that passes understanding as we rest in Him.

We wanted to thank you for all of your prayers for Luda...and for us, too.  Please continue to pray for Luda as she waits for her family, and pray for them, too, as they complete the paperwork and begin their life with their new daughter.

thanks, friends-

We'll keep you posted...

 2 Samuel 22 :31-32

  “God’s way is perfect.
      All the Lord’s promises prove true.
      He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
  For who is God except the Lord?
      Who but our God is a solid rock?

He's got the whole world in His hands-

Amby and Jenny

Himself

This morning we received a call from our agency-  Kylie and I were just coming home from walking the big girls to school.  I heard the phone ringing and rushed to answer it as I saw our social worker's name in the display.  Breathlessly I said, "Hi, Debbie!"  Debbie greeted me and went on to share the latest news.
Turns out that the Russian family who was interested in L has not been back to the orphanage since they met her and expressed an interest in pursuing adoption.  Our agency and the orphanage feel like this is good news for us.  The orphanage is going to give the family another week to contact them regarding L, and then they will call the Russian Child Welfare Services and let them know that a local family was interested in L.  The RCWS will contact the family to be certain that they are no longer planning on pursuing L's adoption.  If the family is no longer interested, we will be able to re-schedule our trip and move forward.  We aren't sure about the time-line...but we are cautiously optimistic.  And always grateful for information.

Today I pulled out an old, favorite book (my Kindle finally lost all of its charge, and I had to plug it in) called Joy in the Journey-  it's a compilation by Michael Card and Timothy Botts...you remember Michael Card, an incredible singer/songwriter who was popular in certain circles during the 80s and 90s?  Timothy Botts is a wonderfully gifted calligrapher.  The two men united their talents in one book-  Michael's lyrics and Timothy's art...  I probably haven't looked at the book in at least 5 years.

But it was exactly what my soul needed this afternoon.

After reading the lyrics to "El Shaddai" (& the story behind it) and gazing upon the beautiful art, my soul was stirred.  Upon reading the words of God to Job, and Job's response, my heart was humbled.  My heart rejoiced as I read (and sang in my head) "Jubilee..."  "debts forgiven, slaves set free, Jesus is our Jubilee!"

All of this adoption stuff is such a mystery to us.  We are grateful that God is in control of it all and we pray that we would continue to trust Him on this journey.

To be honest, it's hard not to want answers.  Ok, the truth is, we really want answers!  It's hard not to badger people for answers-

And, in reality-  God doesn't always give us answers...but He always gives us Himself.


(ps-  that little nugget is not original, it's something that I read this afternoon- love it.)


(pps-  we've received several (very short!) emails from our friends from Minnesota -  they made it to Russia safely and have met and spent time with the child they are pursuing.  AND, they got to meet L and give her the clothes and toys we sent!  yay!)

Screech!

That's the adoption process (as we know it) coming to a sudden halt...
Just as we were finishing up last minute details for our first trip to Russia, we received a phone call from our agency.  I'm including the emails we sent out to explain-  thanks (in advance) for your prayers!

(This is the email we sent out Saturday evening...)

Hi friends- We just wanted to let you know the latest news regarding the adoption... We received a phone call today from our agency to let us know that our trip to meet L is being delayed. Our agency director called to tell us that they received a phone call from L's orphanage conveying the message that we needed to delay our trip-  evidently, something has come up with the birth family.  While our director communicated that we would need to cancel our travel plans, she does not feel that we are going to lose L.  The orphanage said to delay our trip, not cancel our plans (I know there is not much of a distinction there, but our agency director seemed very hopeful).  We are waiting for more information from the orphanage, but because of the time difference, language barriers, waiting for translation, etc-  it's slow-going! We are grateful that the orphanage gave us a "head's up" before we arrived in Biro-  there are definitely folks who have made the trip only to arrive and discover that there has been a paperwork or familial "snag."  It's better to work out the kinks before we travel than after our arrival.  We are not sure how long the delay might be, but our agency director is hoping that we will be able to use our current Russian visas (that we received last week), and they expire in about 40 days.  Clearly, we are disappointed, but we are not without hope.  First and foremost, our hope is in Christ and our confidence that God is fully in control...even when we can't understand His plan for this chapter of our lives.  Secondly, we have been given every indication that this is truly a delay, not a closed door.  We will proceed with hope!!   We have a couple of prayer requests: 1.  Please pray for L-  that she would be safe and healthy.  That the orphanage (and her birth family and the Russian courts) would make her safety  and well-being their priority and that they would act in her best interest. 2.  Please pray that we would continue to rest in the Lord-  that we would not be anxious, but that our peace would surpass even our own understanding and that we would know that God's mighty right hand holds us, L, and all of the children who are waiting for their "forever families." 3.  Finally, please pray for the couple who we were going to be with in Russia (there's a couple from Minnesota that is with the same agency we have that is going to get to travel to Biro next week...we were even going to be on the same flight coming home)-  that they would continue to have a smooth path, that they would meet their child next week (as planned), and that all would go well. It has been great to process this with the girls-  as we share truth with them, we are reminded ourselves, and it is truly a sweet time. Thanks, friends, for your continued prayers!  We hope to travel soon and we're taking it one day at a time.  We'll let you know more as soon as possible!  Have a great night- Amby and Jenny

(this is the email we sent out early this afternoon)
Hello again-

We wanted to quickly update you on our latest adoption news...

buckle up-  it's a little bit of a roller coaster.

First of all, we've been so encouraged by your kind words, prayers, and reminders that God is indeed sovereign and we can trust in Him-  thank you.

Second-  the scoop:

We talked to our agency this morning to find out more details regarding our trip delay.  Our social worker told us that the information they were given on Saturday was not entirely accurate-  the birth family is not interested in adopting L, nor is there a missing signature on the paperwork.  

Here's what's happening:  a different Russian family is potentially interested in adopting L. However, our agency has informed us that the orphanage feels strongly that they can find another child for the Russian family.  

A couple of things:  we are so encouraged and thankful that a Russian family is hoping to adopt a child that's been in an orphanage for an extended period of time...we would love for each and every child to be adopted in to a loving home that will share their culture and life.

We are heart-sick that the child they may adopt is L...a girl to whom we've grown very attached-  we've talked about her, prayed for her, dreamed about her-  we love her.  But, truly-  she is not ours...so we are holding her very loosely.  Even as I type these words, my heart is pounding.  The truth is sometimes hard to type.  

We are praying that the Russian family will fall in love with another child that the orphanage introduces to them.  The orphanage and our agency are very hopeful about this-  we are not sure why, but we're trusting the orphanage (and the Lord!) to place these kiddos where they need to be.

We should know something either this week or next-  and we'll go from there.

Please pray that the Russian family would be open to another child-  is that a selfish prayer?  Maybe.  But, regardless of the answer to this prayer, we are choosing to trust the Lord and His sovereignty-  we are confident that He has hand-picked our child for us.  We can't wait to meet her.  And we'll keep praying for all of the kids who are waiting for their forever family.

Thanks, friends, for letting me ramble!

y'all have a great day-

Jenny (and Amby)

ps-  remember our new friends from Minnesota? The couple traveling next week to meet their child?  The wife sent me the sweetest email...and she offered to look for L at the orphanage.  She told me that they would take any toys that we might want to send L.  We are so grateful...

When it rains, it pours!

 A Dozen Things We Did For The Adoption This Week-

12.  Dropped off our financial information to our tax guy (hurray for John Boynton!) to have him write our Housing Statement.

11.  Filled out our Visa Applications on-line...again, and again...and again.

10.  Sent our Visa Applications (twice) to Olga- she's our American/Russian helper.

9.  Received our official certified Marriage Certificate in the mail.

8.  Bought 2 European plug adaptors for our trip to Russia.

7.  Got our appointment for our biometric fingerprints!!!!

6.  Said Yes, Yes, Yes when Missy offered to make family picture cards to leave with L (kind of like a fancy photo album).

5.  Went shopping for toys for L and the other kids in her group.

4.  Received our Poverty Level Agreement letter and Home Study Agency letter in the mail from our Texas agency.

3.  Learned that there would be another American family that would be traveling with us to Biro to meet their child!

2.  Booked our flights and hotel (actually, Amby's parents booked our flights and hotel- such a sweet gift) for our trip to Russia.

1.  Amby brought home his Employment Verification Letter AND Jan (Amby's mom) brought over the Housing Financial Statement Letter!!

What a great (and slightly crazy!) week!  Numerous pieces of paperwork came in this week-  we are so grateful to have so much completed.  Our hope is to have most of our paperwork for our foreign dossier BEFORE we leave for our first trip.  That's the goal, but it's kind of a lofty goal-  evidently we are still a couple of months away from our FBI clearance.  However, we are going to keep plugging away!

Hard to believe we are headed to Russia in just 2 weeks...

GREAT NEWS!

Hi friends- We wanted to let you know that we received GREAT NEWS, and our hearts are overflowing with thanksgiving... We have been given the travel dates for our first trip to Russia-  this is the trip where we will meet L!  It's literally just around the corner- We will be flying out of Dallas the morning of October 21st & arrive in Biro (where the orphanage is located) on October 23rd.  We will land back in Dallas on October 28th- We can't wait to meet our sweet girl and have the opportunity to spend time with her each day while we are in Biro. (1 1/2 hours in the morning and 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon for each of the 3 days that we are actually in Biro) Please pray that the details of our trip would work out smoothly.  Thankfully, our agency is doing most of the "heavy lifting" of all of the planning.  Amby and I still have LOTS of paperwork to do, but our agency has a detailed itinerary for us as well as support staff both in the US and Russia. Please continue to pray for L-  that she would be healthy and well-cared for, and that she would know that she has a Father in Heaven (and a mom and dad in the US!) who loves her. Thanks for celebrating and praying with us- y'all have a great day!! Amby and Jenny

knee-deep

what's that verse again?  Ask and you shall receive...
well-  we asked.  and we've received!
Paperwork, I mean.
It's all part of the journey.  I'm pretty sure our road will be paved in paper!
Today Amby and I started filling out the paperwork that we'll need for our 2nd trip to Russia to bring L home.
And, no-  we haven't taken our first trip (to meet L) yet.  However, some of the paperwork takes months to process, so we decided to go ahead and get the ball rolling.  The form that we printed off today was the I-600A form.  It basically says that you plan on pursuing adoption in a foreign country.  We'll send it in to the US Government and they'll say, "Great!" (we hope)  Then they'll schedule a date for us to go get biometric fingerprints (I'm not entirely sure why we need biometric fingerprints...possibly to ensure that we won't be planning any espionage on our trip?  I probably shouldn't joke about that).  THEN, when our fingerprints are done, 4-8 weeks later, we'll be approved to adopt.
But first we need to figure out how to fill out the I-600A form.
Let me put it this way-  the 3 page form has a 6 page instructional guide...and I'm not kidding.
AND, as we started to answer the first question- "name of adoptive parent," we were stumped.  I mean, is that me?  Is that Amby?  Does it matter?  (on the next page you have to answer the question, "Who is the spouse of the adoptive parent?")
sigh.
Don't worry-  we already sent an email to our adoption agency asking them to clarify.
And my plan is to spend tomorrow working on paperwork!  Yay!
Every day we get a little closer to bringing home L...

waiting...

hello!
Just a quick update on the adoption front...
we are waiting!

• we made a match with L-  she turned 2 on August 8th.
• our hope is to adopt L and bring her home early next year  :)
• our paperwork has been submitted to Russia, and we are waiting for our trip dates (Russia is a "2 trip country"-  a trip to meet your child and a trip to bring your child home)
• we are hopeful that our trip to meet L will be in October (please pray!)
• the big girls have started school-  we love our teachers and are off to a great start
• we've moved back in to our Fieldcrest house...it's incredible.  Way to go, Christman and Missy!
• we are praying for L all day long...the girls talk about her constantly
• we can't wait for the next step in adoption

Thank you for your prayers!
More to come soon-

We made a match!!

It has been a very exciting couple of weeks here in Big D! Of course, it's summer and we are loving being out of school. We swim a LOT, play lots of Legos and Lily "teaches" school, we swim some more, go check on our house on Fieldcrest (did I mention that we are renovating our house this summer??) and play some more. We've gotten to go to Houston-  and had an awesome time with our cousins swimming, playing, and touring the Blue Bell Ice Cream Factory in Brenham. But, best of all...we accepted a referral for adoption. We wanted to ask y'all to pray with us as we process our latest adoption news... About a 2 weeks ago, we were given the names/pictures/bios for several Waiting Children from Russia. After looking over the information, we asked our agency to send us details on 3 little girls:  a 10 month old named E, a 21 month old named L, and a 20 month old named K. Finally, we received detailed medical histories and adoption information for both L and K.  We did not receive any information on E, so we are guessing that she has already been placed for adoption...hurrah!! L has been approved for adoption, but K has not been approved for adoption-  evidently, she has a number of unknown potential health issues that our caseworker is concerned about.  Of course, this is heart-breaking, and we are praying for her like crazy. At this point, we have put a "hold" on L...amazing to think that this could be our new daughter!!  We are all excited- the girls talk about her often, and she is never very far from my heart and prayers.  There are still so many steps to take- yesterday we over-nighted several documents to our agency and we will have to go to immigration and submit paperwork & fingerprints for Russia...more forms!! We are THRILLED to be filling out more forms and answering questions!  We are grateful for the opportunity to get to pray for these sweet girls by name, regardless of where they end up-  we pray that their "forever family" will find them soon.   To be honest, one of the hardest aspects of this situation is that we have "options."  When you have a biological child, you "get what you get and you don't throw a fit."  :) Adoption is different.  You have choices:  and it's almost overwhelming.  It feels like every time you make a choice in one direction (we are hoping for a girl), you eliminate other opportunities (what about all of those sweet boys who need a family??).  I have cried many tears as we turn toward one child and turn away from another.  I have realized that I often trust in myself and not the Lord.  I am constantly reminded- often times by y'all!- that God is in control, that He is sovereign, and that I can trust Him.  And, again, that He loves each and every one of these children. Thanks, friends, for your prayers...keep praying.

Fieldcrest Drive

so...our street-  have I ever mentioned our street?
(I know-  this is a blog about our adoption...hold tight!)

Our street has about 10 houses on it (practically speaking).  We live in Lake Highlands, in a neighborhood mixed with original home-owners and young families (for the most part).  There are a few families with college-aged kids, but for the most part, it's either the older or the younger (wow-  I can't believe I'm considered to be part of the "younger!!")
ANYWAY, on our street, the Matlocks are the only original homeowners left.  The rest of the houses on our block have been bought (within the last 5 years) by younger families.
In 8 houses, we have 20 kids...under the age of 9.  It's awesome.  And crazy.  And really, really great.
To be honest, it's one of the reasons that we decided to adopt-  definitely on the + side.  The love, comradery, and community are invaluable.
 We play outside.  Our kids run in and out of yards.  We watch one another's kids, trade recipes, pray for one another, have parties, shake our fists at the teen-agers who drive too fast, play in sprinklers, send kids to time-out, and give out kisses, band-aids and popsicles.

And then there's Mrs. Mary Jo and Mr. Gibb Matlock.
Oh how Mrs. Mary Jo loves our kids.  She delights in them.  She did a "talk" about birds in her backyard for the kids on our street-  complete with a tape-recording of bird noises and stuffed birds.
She gives out hugs and tells the kids that she loves them (and that if they want to run away, they can run to her house).
Mrs. Mary Jo went to the University of Texas.  She was a Kappa...she still goes to reunions with her Kappa sisters every year-  isn't that sweet?
Just tonight, she called to wish us a Happy Easter.  She always says, "God bless."  And she means it.
She told me that she met some women at her church who had relatives in India...she asked if it might help us get a baby from India.

I told her that we were so grateful that she was thinking of us...but that we were going a different direction.  We were hopeful about adopting a child from Russia.  (more on that later).
Mrs. Mary Jo was great.  She said that she's been praying for us, and she would continue to pray for us.
I told her that we thought we had such a great plan(in adopting from India), but that the Lord promises that He will give us "exceedingly, abundantly more" when we trust in Him.  So, we are trusting in Him.  And we are heading towards Russia.
Mrs. Mary Jo told me that she sometimes has difficulty trusting in the Lord.  I told her that I do, too.  She said that her biggest sin is that she sometimes gives things to God...only to take them back again.
Me, too.
I love that Mrs. Mary Jo shared that with me.
I pray that I would grow more bold and more authentic....like Mrs. Mary Jo.

Of course, she ended the conversation with, "Happy Easter...God bless."

Ready

(an email to Missy)
so, it could be the cookies talking, but I'm feeling like I need to say this out loud:

I'm ready for some info about our newest daughter.

I'm ready to get our girl.

I know that we have the rest of our life with her, and I know that it will all happen in God's timing, and I trust Him.

And I trust that it will happen when He is ready and when we are ready and when she is ready...

but I'm ready to be ready.

It's not that I'm tired of waiting- really, we haven't been waiting that long.  

I'm just ready.

Ready to see her.

Ready to hold her.

Ready for her to meet her sisters.  and ready for her sisters to meet her.

Ready.

I feel like she is somewhere out there and we are all getting ready to be together.  And I don't understand why later is better than sooner.  But, clearly, God's ways are higher than our ways.  Isn't it crazy to think that our daughter has been born (maybe) and that we are all getting ready to be together?  I'm not anxious or nervous-  honestly, I have too much going on to dwell too much on all of it.  But we pray for her all day long.  I'm guessing that's all she needs right now.

just had to say it out loud.

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

This is an email that Amby and I sent out to our family, community group and Bible study friends...
Although it's several weeks old, it's still fresh in our hearts and minds.  We are thankful for the progress that has been made since we received this email, and we are grateful for new opportunities (more on that later!)

Amby and I received word today (March 3rd) that our Home Study report was sent to India and the Indian representative for our agency (Rajeev) reviewed it... He said that, because of the increased number of Indian citizens adopting Indian orphans (what a great thing), the restrictions for folks outside of India are increasing.  In other words, it was Rajeev's opinion that Amby and I would, ultimately, not be permitted to adopt a child from India.  He said that his thought is that we would be allowed a referral and we would most likely match with a child (they were very encouraging about our Home Study report).  However, he thinks that we would get well down the road and then we would be denied by the Indian government because we already have 3 children.  Although this is not a current limitation, Rajeev feels that the trend (as far as he can tell) is that adoptions will not be approved for families who already have 3 children (at this point, 3 is the max # of children allowed).  He feels that the governing body for adoption in India (CARA) will not approve our adoption, as he has not yet seen an approved adoption for a family in our situation.  And, truly, we have started to receive information about more and more restrictions and changes for Indian adoption.  Although none of these limitations are currently official, it's definitely the direction that CARA is heading. The director of our agency wanted us to know asap, so that we can begin processing the information...his recommendation is that we begin to think about other countries and other opportunities.  He said that he would hate for us to get 12-18 months down the road, only to be denied. Clearly, we are disappointed.  Thankfully, Amby was home when we received the email from our agency's director.   There is a lot to discuss and pray about and think through-   Will y'all please pray for us?  We are confident that there is a child, somewhere out there, who is going to be a part of our family.  We simply want to be faithful.  Please pray that we would be faithful.  We are still very hopeful. Really, this is the first real "hiccup" that we have experienced thus far.  It's a little bit of a roller coaster of emotions-  and we desperately want to be in the "here and now."  We have a long way to go on this journey. Thanks, friends- Grateful for y'all... jenny ps- I know- it's hard to think about all of those orphans in India... And Amby and I are definitely thankful that Indian citizens who live in India are beginning to embrace adoption-  but I want to acknowledge that it's still so hard to know that there are thousands of Indian children who will go to bed tonight without mommies and daddies to tuck them in, sing to them, read to them, and pray for them. But, I know that God loves those boys and girls as much as he loves my girls and your kids. I know that I have already shared this with many of y'all, but I think I need the reminder-  One of the main things God reminded me of when I was in Africa is this: He's got the whole world in His hands.

The Sheer Madness of it All

How's that for a dramatic title?
I must say, I'm feeling a little dramatic, regarding the adoption.
The wheels have ground to a stop.  Does that even make sense?
After receiving the wonderful news that we have been approved to be Potential Adoptive Parents (that's PAP, for all of you who are keeping record of adoption acronyms)!  HURRAY!
After we received our Home Study document to review, we assumed that we would awake to find someone on our doorstep with a child ready for us to adopt (kind of like Ed McMahon with his giant check).  Ok-  so that's a little unrealistic and entirely untrue, but...we did expect a little more than we got.
Which was complete and utter silence.
We got nothin'.
For a week.  And then we emailed our agency-  we were like, "Ummm....so we got our Home Study back and it was awesome.  What's next?"
Our agency emailed us back that our social worker would send the documents-  after that we would be OFFICIALLY approved and we could start receiving referrals.
So, we are back to waiting.  Arg.
Have I mentioned that I am NO GOOD at waiting?  I have to admit that I kind of have a plan for how all of this might work out:  we match with our child this spring.  we submit our court documents before the courts in India go on holiday (this summer).  we travel to India to pick up our child early fall.  we have an entire school year with Kylie and our newest sibling to get to hang out before Kylie goes to school.  See?  Doesn't it all make perfect sense?
Brilliant plan.
What's that?  It's not about me managing the situation or controlling the outcome or figuring it all out?
What?
I mean, really.  What's it going to take for me to learn that it's not about me figuring it all out.  How many times do I have to see that God REALLY DOES have my best interest at heart?  Have I EVER been disappointed in His plan?  His provision?  Have I EVER regretted trusting Him?
Honestly?
Nope.  Not ever.  Not once.  I have not always been able to understand His plan (in the moment).  But as I look back on my life-  I am truly humbled.  And more than a little chagrined.  After all-  who am I to question Him?  He set the world in motion...He came to earth to save us.  He cares about every detail of my life.  He loves the sweet child that we are waiting for-  He loves her (or him!) more than I can possibly imagine.
And so, whether it is tomorrow or a year from tomorrow (oh goodness, I pray that it is not 2 years from tomorrow!), it is going to be the perfect time.
So, we are waiting...

On another completely unrelated note-
Missy brought her camera (and Rob's awesome fancy lens) to the playground this afternoon after school.
Here's an amazing shot she took of Gracie...

And another one-

Great, right?
Y'all have a good night...

I lied.

Ok-  so, I lied.  I said that I thought you'd be bored by a detailed post about our last month and that I'd tell you about it in bullet form.
That was my intention...but I decided to share a little more.
Where shall I start?
How about our home visit!

As I'm sure many of you know, a Home Visit is just that:  a social worker visits your home, checks it out, asks you numerous questions, interviews the folks in your family, and then decides if you are suitable to be adoptive parents.
Ummm-- no pressure.
Here's how it all went down:
we received a call on Thursday night (a few weeks ago).  Yes, that's right-  the Thursday night before the Friday that we were going to Houston to watch Amby and Jeremy (my older brother) run in the Houston Marathon.  Amby and Jeremy have been training for months to run the marathon, and we were pumped to join Linda and our cousins to cheer them on.
But I digress.
Ok-  so, we got a phonecall from our social worker to set up our Home Study.  He said that he'd like to visit us to talk about the adoption.  (thankfully, Amby answered the phone or I guarantee that I would have gone in to semi-charming (annoying) babbling idiot mode)  Eric (the social worker) said that he was available any evening we'd prefer-  the sooner the better.  We were so thrilled for this new step in the process, that we immediately agreed to the following Monday...nevermind that we'd be in Houston all weekend.  Nevermind that I'd be leaving for Africa the following Friday.  Full steam ahead!  Bring it on!
So, the madness ensued.  We cleaned our closets!  We cleaned the garage!  We cleaned the refrigerator!  By golly, we were going to be so clean-  how could he refuse?
Fast forward 24 hours.
My sweet, sweet nephew got the flu.  We decided that the girls and I shouldn't go to Houston-  Amby would fly down, run the marathon, then fly back.  Poor guy-  very anti-climactic (he did great, by the way-  finished faster than anticipated...especially given the less-than-ideal weather conditions!  Jeremy, too).
Our weekend didn't turn out as planned, but I was able to clean out the freezer, with the extra time I had.

Ok-  I know...it sounds like I was slightly OCD.  BUT, we were told that the social worker could (and would) check anywhere and everywhere to be certain that our house was a viable option for a child to live safely.  There's a fine line between due diligence and control issues.  I may have crossed that line a few times over the weekend.  It's probably in Amby's best interest that he was in Houston.

Finally, Monday arrived.  We had a plan:  our social worker would arrive.  He'd talk to the girls, then Missy and Kyle would swoop in and take them (the girls) away & Amby and I would charm our social worker and he would see that we were the ideal family for a child...bad-a-bing-bad-a-boom.
done.
And that's pretty much what happened.
Yes, I was a babbling idiot.  Yes, I'm sure I over-shared during my interview (he talked to us together as well as separately).  Yes, Amby is much more relaxed and natural.  No, the social worker didn't eat the dip I made as a last ditch effort to convince him that we were normal.  Who was I kidding?
And the girls had a great time at the Richardson's-  they ate chicken and noodles and played board games.  Heaven.
And now we are waiting.  Supposedly, we will hear if we are approved for adoption in the next couple of days.  As hard as it is to wait, we have peace.  It's a crazy "peace that passes understanding."  It's almost like it's out of our control.  Oh.  That's right-  it is.  Out of our control, I mean.
Thankfully, He's got the whole world in His hands.
And that includes our house-
and our hearts.
We are grateful.
And waiting...

So much to say-

How is it possible that almost an entire month has gone by since I last posted?
Oh, so much has happened in this past month!

You would probably fall asleep from boredom, if I recounted it all in paragraph form, so I'm going to do bullets! (don't you just love bullets?)

• we turned in our home study
• we had our home visit
• I went to Burundi, Africa to help lead a Women's Conference with our church through ALARM
• Kylie turned 4!

Such a great month...

AHEM

So, I was very excited about this post.  I had a little somethin' somethin' already working in my head about this post.

(do you do that?  Write blog posts in your head?  Or journal entries?  Or emails?  Or have entire conversations in your head-  both sides?  Is that just me?)

I was going to explain how we had not one but TWO pieces of news to share.  But my plans were thwarted.  Thwarted by voice mail!  And phone lines (darn you, Alexander Graham Bell!) (ok, AGB is not really to blame, but I need to be able to place blame somewhere, and he's as likely a candidate as anyone).

Thus, I only have once piece of news to share-  but it's great news!
Here it is:  WE SENT IN OUR HOME STUDY!
I know, I know-  it's really not THAT exciting.  I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it's only one small step in the long journey to our sweet child waiting for us in India.  However, it felt big to us.  I was grinning ear to ear when we stuffed our Home Study file in to the overnight envelope and mailed it to our agency.  I was babbling a little bit.  And I may have overly-chatted-up the postal worker (is anyone really surprised by that admission?).  But I was so excited to turn that sucker in!
We mailed in at least 20 documents including a 22 page autobiography (for each of us!), police clearance reports that required us to go to the county jail, a detailed floor plan of our home, and drawings and statements from all 3 girls.  (and much, much more!!)  We are actually really grateful that we got to go through all of the paperwork.  It made everything seem very real.  And Amby and I did it all together...which was great and so encouraging.

To be honest, it was a little overwhelming at times.  I called Missy on more than one occasion to share my fears and thoughts-  what if our social worker doesn't understand why we choose to parent the way we do?  What if he doesn't see our heart in our answers?  What if he doesn't approve us?

Yet another opportunity to trust the Lord.  He's giving me lots of those lately.  Maybe they're there all the time, & I've just gotten really self-sufficient.  I'm not entirely sure.  All I know for sure is that we are trusting Him day by day.  Truly, each day has enough worries of it's own-  and we are choosing to rest in Him.

So, that's one thing.  And the other thing that I was hoping to report was Amby's OCI status.  I called the Indian consulate in Houston today to check on when we were going to receive Amby's OCI card (which gives us more options for adoption in India).  Alas, after waiting on hold for 20 minutes (it was actually pretty awesome-  every 30 seconds an automated voice came on the line to update you on your status "there are 8 people ahead of you-  if you would like to continue waiting, please stay on the line"), I could only leave a voicemail.  Major let-down.  Major.  Oh well.  No news is good news, right?

SIGH!

That's me...breathing a huge sigh of relief.
I'll do it again.
SIGH.

Tonight, after we put the girls down, Amby and I went through our home study/adoption agency checklist together.  As I mentioned in my last post, there is an enormous amount of paperwork that we have been given (emailed, snail-mailed, faxed, etc).  I have been trying to go through it as it arrives, but with the holidays (not to mention the girls, family, and life in general!), it has started to pile up a little.
It's always at the back of my mind.
Missy and Sarah have promised to meet with me over coffee and help make a spreadsheet (moment of reverential silence for the spreadsheet).  Sarah is my favorite super-organized friend-  I stand in awe of Sarah and her ability to cut to the chase.  Missy's no slouch when it come to cutting to the chase, and they are both great at talking me down off a ledge.
Anyway, as I was saying, I have a plan to manage all of the paperwork chaos.  We (meaning Sarah) are going to make a spreadsheet of all of the stuff that we have to turn in for the adoption.  We have documents that need to be turned in for the home study.  We have documents that need to be turned in for the dossier.  We have documents that need to be turned in for BOTH the home study AND the dossier.  The spreadsheet will magically help me keep track of it all.
Am I asking too much of a spreadsheet?  Perhaps.  But, when the spreadsheet fails me, I shall lay the blame at the feet of Sarah and Missy.  Hence, the focused coffee-meeting.
It's ok-  they can handle it.
So, back to my sigh of relief.
Amby and I went through our binder (oh, I was so young and naive 1 month ago when I thought that a mere binder would hold all of our information) and sorted through the paperwork we have received.  I put things in file folders.  I labeled.  I paperclipped.  I basked in the glow of organization.
Best of all, Amby went over the checklist for our homestudy and agency application.  When he finished looking over it, he said, "That's not so bad."  It was like music to my ears.
He said, "We have most of these things.  It's going to be a pain to get the medical stuff done, but other than that I think we're in good shape."
See-  that's what I love about my husband.  He is so great at looking at a problem and breaking it down to a manageable, workable solution.  In fact, as I type this, he's in the office getting documents out of our safe and making copies.  What a guy.
I love it when a plan comes together.